Learning To Love

There's nothing like getting up close and personal
with the things that make you uncomfortable in
order to befriend them. Parsvottanasna
helped me learn to love my feet.

Understanding

I used to be self conscious of my feet, dreading sandal season and barefoot encounters of all types. I was hyper aware of all the pretty feet that traipsed care-free through the world around me. It wasn't until I started practicing yoga back in 2000 that I began the journey of appreciating my feet. Maybe it was the required staring at them in their unadulterated bareness while in uttanasana and parsvottanasna poses, or all the cues my yoga teachers gave me to 'engage'  different parts of them through the practice that made me appreciate how much they do for me. Overcoming this self conscious mindset came only after gaining a deep body awareness of how they worked and contribute to my movements. From there I began to love them.

Three things I love about my feet:
1. They take me places & allow me to do things I love doing,
2. They don't have fungus or other yucky conditions,
3. They connect me to the Earth.

I joke with myself that my toes look like ET's neck, all wrinkled, knobby, and alien. I've wasted time wishing they weren't so veiny, so lumpy, or plump. But why bother thinking about myself in this way? Why not take the advice I give to my 13 year old daughter who is in the throws of adolescent self-judgements? Your body is an amazing composite of matter in the form of a gorgeous human being. Celebrate your health, your ability to move and express yourself, and the simple and profound fact that you are here at all. Don't get hung up on the details that nobody else sees but you, their opinions of you never matter as much as how you see yourself.

I've never had major self-confidence issues, and by speaking to this topic I don't mean to sound like I'm talking down to anyone with my all mighty wisdom. But I have made some observations that have helped me get over some things that have slowed me from fully loving myself. 

Respect

Lack of self confidence can be debilitating, and germinating it within yourself can start by simply acknowledging and appreciating your existence. In my experience, knowledge leads to empowerment. So if you can't at first find the soft skills to love yourself - including those "flaws" - start with objective observation of what exists. Do this without judgement or comparison, only observation. This approach might just be enough to break the habit of developing self-depreciating opinions of yourself. From this observational approach, you might eventually begin to move into an appreciative mode. And with this shift in how you think about yourself, you might accidentally find yourself simply loving yourself. Pure love doesn't want to change anything.

Surely we all have certain bodily features that aren't our favourites, but by shifting your focus from your insecurities to appreciating what intricacies are required to simply exist in this human incarnation, the net result might just be joy. The practice of gratitude can work magic like that.

Notice any similarities between this guy and my little piggies? 

In my work I sometimes get a glimpse at how people see themselves. For some, bearing their skin and surrendering themselves to the hands of another in the form of a massage - even if it's in a pleasant, safe, and healing environment - can be an incredibly challenging act to do. The thought of doing just that, might cause more pain than the aching muscles in their body. I appreciate that. And I congratulate anyone who shows the bravery to overcome their fears in order to gain deeper healing. You have my deepest respect.

Love

I've acted as a sounding board, a listener, and an empathetic ear, since sometimes people choose to share deeply personal things about themselves with me during their massage treatment. Physical therapies can elicit a connection between the mind and body, and I have witnessed how releasing areas of bodily tension can also release pent up emotions.  
I am thankful that I have managed to create an environment where my patients feel safe to share themselves in. When people express concern with their body's flaws I want them to see the beauty and wonder of their body that I see. The more I learn about human anatomy and physiology the more I realize how outstanding it is that our bodies function at all; simply put, it's a bloody miracle. With all the coordination of multiple systems required to simply be alive, shouldn't we celebrate the very fact that we are alive? Is it not a bit selfish to think that our negative view of ourselves is more important than celebrating the miracle that is our body? 

Empathy runs deeply in my veins and I can't help but feel a bit of the pain my patients feel. I wish I knew what to say when someone confides that they don't like some part of themselves. I want them to know that I consider them a miracle and am privileged to facilitate them in experiencing their body in the best possible way.

For me, my insecurities faded when I began to understand the purpose and function of the parts of me that I didn't care for. From there I developed respect, which eventually matured into love. I still don't think my feet are "pretty", but I love them. We have been on some breathtaking adventures together and for this I am so incredibly grateful.

With deepest respect,
Dana